‘Struggling with your life’s direction? Then take your eyes off yourself’

Well it’s just gone midnight Sunday that probably makes it Monday then and I’m in bed reflecting on a powerful (in my opinion) documentary I watched this evening about the legendary folk, blues, rock band Fleetwood Mac and it got me to thinking about how a group of individuals, who clearly became so destructive to one another, managed to hold it all together and over 40 years later are still one of the world’s most massive acts?

What was it I’ve been thinking that keeps this band so close when inside they were raging with themselves and against each other and then it struck me…..they had more than just themselves as individuals to consider, they had the band and all it represented.

Every day I meet people, who are struggling with life’s challenges, I suppose when you coach people for a living you’re going to meet a few lost souls along the way. Many of these people however and I have to include myself in this group occasionally are focused on themselves and where they’ve gone wrong and what they need to do to put themselves right again and many times they’re trying to do this alone.

When people are drawn together for a common purpose I believe that their own challenges and issues become less of a concern and perhaps more manageable. This viewpoint was brought home to me with some impact during my recent cycle challenge in the French Alps, where the collective spirit and support of 60 strangers, all encouraging each other to conquer an incredibly grueling event, meant that each of us achieved things that alone I believe we would have given in to. The feeling of peace, reduced stress and absolute clarity I felt for weeks after I returned was one of least expected outcomes from my adventure.

I believe that if we can take our eyes off ourselves for a while and find something of purpose that we can work together with others to achieve then our own direction and purpose in life becomes much clearer because alone, the journey is often met with fear and trepidation and the path we need to take becomes less obvious.

So what’s my point this week?

If you’re struggling to identify who you are and what your future direction might be, find something bigger than just you to become involved with, whatever that might be for you and then I’m confident that you’ll see all the fear and doubt subside and a renewed confidence take its place but beware as soon as you sneak back to your self-centred ways, doubt will be sure to reappear once again.

Have a great week and remember to be the best you that you can be 100% of the time

Best wishes

Steve

www.red-fm.co.uk     www.linked2success.co.uk

‘It’s how you communicate that counts’

We seem to live in a world filled with misunderstandings and miss-communication. How often for instance have you received an email or a text and spent at least 5 minutes trying to decipher its real meaning or have you ever issued an instruction to someone, only to discover that they haven’t completed the task, how you wanted it done or when you wanted it completed?

Every day this type of communication takes place in businesses and homes across the land, causing, frustration, anger, mistakes at work, people having to re-do or perform additional tasks to make up for the earlier miss-communication, which leads to demotivated individuals and teams.

 Communication should be simple – you have an idea, a suggestion, a request you want to pass to someone else, you decide how you will communicate this message (what format, tone etc) and the other person receives it, just as you intended them to…….not a chance!

 A little tip…each time you communicate a request of someone and you want to increase the chances of them receiving your message intact, first accept that the person is human and that they have a million and one things going on in their lives and therefore, their head. Communicate your message simply and clearly and always, always check that the person has understood by getting them to repeat back to you their understanding.

 If a surgeon, who earns £100,000 expects his/her nursing assistant to utter the word  scalpel as he/she passes the implement then surely we can use this basic method of checking someone’s understanding to make all our lives a little less stressful.

 Have a great week and remember to be the best you that you can be 100% of the time

 Best wishes

 

Steve

The Power of Now

How many of you have started the week with one eye on what has to be done today and one on the rest of the week? Are you becoming distracted with thoughts of that meeting you have to present at on Wednesday or that social gathering at the weekend that you need a new suit or dress for, maybe you’re simply looking ahead to this evening and the fact you need to stop off on the way home to pick up something for tea?

My question this week is how much of your time and energy are being taken up considering things that you can do absolutely nothing about right at this moment?

Each morning I go through a bit of ritual (nothing bizarre I might add!) and in preparing myself for the day, I read a passage from a book written by Deirdre Bounds (you need this book if you’re not feeling totally fulfilled right now*) and one of the lines reads; ‘Just for today I will live through this day only and not try and tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for 12 hours that would appall me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime’.

And my challenge to you is this. If you are finding yourself worrying about things beyond the moment you’re in right now, stop. This is isn’t easy but try and put more focus into what you’re doing right at this moment, look at it in more depth, see and hear things that maybe you hadn’t noticed before, maybe pay attention to what’s happening where you’re working right now- how are the people around you, are they happy, stressed, what do you notice?

You know it’s amazing what we see, hear and feel when we focus on the now and stop worrying about the future that, until it arrives, we can do little about. Have a great week and remember to be the best you that you can be 100% of the time

Best wishes

 

Steve

* Deirdre’s book Fulfilled-A Personal Revolution in 7 Steps can be purchased at Amazon Books http://tinyurl.com/yzrn48n

Turning an enemy into a friend

It’s been an interesting week, business has been brisk and the hours have been long and as I went about my weekly marketing activities, minding my own business, promoting my coaching services,  I suddenly received a significant wakeup call….a handful of people didn’t like me. Actually that was just my ego kicking in, what they didn’t like was a communication I had sent out via the online business network site LinkedIn that appeared to blatantly promote my services in an area of the site where such behavior is ‘not allowed’!

One such communication I received berated me with such force that I began to consider that nothing short of a public flogging or 30 days in the electric chair would be considered suitable recompense for the personal slight this person obviously felt.

Now there was a moment when, as my hackles rose that I considered unleashing my full amoury of assault artillery, in response to the huge amount anger I felt toward this individual and then I considered that maybe there was a better way of dealing with this and I asked myself a question….Did I want to make an enemy of this person or was this a great opportunity to gain a friend?

 In short, my actions were as follows

1. I checked out this person’s profile on LinkedIn and discovered that they were highly recommended by a large number of individuals so clearly they were not an unreasonable person.
2. I let the person know that I was sorry and that my actions were a genuine mistake (which they were).
3. I let them know however, that I did not appreciate receiving a reprimand in the form of a personal attack (which it was)
4. I focused the message on how I felt offended by the tone of the message and that although I did not expect an apology in return, I would suggest that before they chose to berate someone in future that they might want to give that person the benefit of the doubt first (I did not demand anything personally, instead I suggested a constructive solution to the situation, which helped remove some of the personal embarrassment this person might have felt).   

 The response I received to this approach was that I did in fact receive a heartfelt apology, together with an explanation as to why this person reacted as they did, which helped me to understand their perspective and although we may not become lifelong friends, this approach definitely helped to turn a potential ‘enemy’ into a ‘friend’

 Always remember that there are a lot of things you can do proactively to develop a well respected personal brand, although how you deal with issues reactively will often speak volumes about who you are.

 Have a great week and remember to be the best you that you can be 100% of the time

 Best wishes

 Steve

 www.red-fm.co.uk / www.linked2success.co.uk

Do you know someone who’s at a crossroads in their life or struggling to deal with current challenges? Do they need more clarity so they can see a way ahead?

Have them  contact me now to arrange a free, 45 minute telephone coaching call in strictest confidence and they’ll be amazed how much clearer everything then seems.

‘I was very inspired by our call.  All the elements we talked about brought into my focus what I really want to create in my life and for those I work with.’ Juliette Noske

 ‘Steve Phillip is professional, knowledgeable and entertaining! Attending one of his workshops may be the best investment that you’ve ever made in yourself’ Deirdre Bounds

 I found ‘Building a Superbrand: You’ thought provoking and highly relevant. I recommend this seminar to anyone who needs to ‘audit’ who they are and how successful they can be in their careers’  Will Kintish

‘Who’s supporting you when things get tough?’

Its 4.30 pm on Sunday 20th September 2009 and the enormity of what has just been accomplished is beginning to sink in and with it an overwhelming sense of emotion. In just 3 days, together with 60 other cyclists of varying ages and abilities, I have just cycled 190 miles and taken on 6 of the toughest Mountain Cols (passes), including  three Hors and one Category 1 climb, the toughest categories on the Tour de France and in the process we have raised £150,000 for Macmillan Cancer Support.

I felt that for this week’s message, the following brief summary of my adventure would help one or two of you who may be struggling with your own challenges in business or in life generally.

To try and put this event into some kind of perspective, try sitting on an exercise bike in your local gym or at home, turn up the resistance to a level where you can barely turn the pedals above 4 miles per hour and cycle to the summit of Mount Everest. Without question this has been the most challenging undertaking I have ever experienced and the sense of overwhelming achievement of conquering the 21 hairpin bends to the summit of Alp d’Huez on the final day is almost impossible to convey.

Macmillan arrange many expeditions to raise funds for the incredible work they do in providing support for cancer victims and their families and this, their first ever Alps Cycle Challenge, is the most extreme event they offer and is definitely not for the faint hearted.

In between the pain of 6.30 am starts and the immense physical exertion of climbing two mountains a day, there were some more light hearted moments, such as when one of my fellow riders decided to take a photograph of the pack on day one by moving to the left hand side of the road only to have to ride into a ditch to avoid an oncoming car and then emerge out of this mini ravine, still on two wheels, with camera still in hand.

There were also the more poignant times, such as when one of the female riders, Wendy, who in her forties, together with her husband valiantly struggled to complete the final few hundred metres of the last mountain climb, weaving her bike from side to side as she strained to push down on the pedals, fighting back the tears, some 5 hours behind the first finisher. She conquered the mountain and her own limiting beliefs from the previous day, when she thought she could not go beyond day 2. This determination typified the attitude and sheer commitment of every other extraordinary person on this adventure.  Wendy’s triumph was made even more poignant as many of the cyclists who had finished hours earlier, donned their helmets, got on their bikes and rode part way down the Alp d’ Huez again to urge her on to the finish.

In the end this challenge came down to much more than just a trip away or a charity event, it came to represent the best in people, 60 of who, having never met each other before, supported one another, laughed and cried together and formed such a close bond that they will remain friends for a long time to come. Most of all each of these individuals came to understand that even when you think you can’t do any more physically or mentally, if you have a common purpose, a worthy cause, sheer determination and the support of others, it’s incredible what you can accomplish.

Finally I would like to give a brief plug and a big thank you to Boneshakers Bikes www.boneshakersbikes.co.uk  and their new Specialized store in Harrogate who fully prepared my bike for the event and leant me a bike bag for the flight and without Bill Cunningham and his team’s generous support I would not have been able to complete this challenge, they’ve been incredible.’  Also to the Honda Institute for their generous support, thanks guys, it was much appreciated.

Have a great weekend and remember to be the best you that you can be 100% of the time

 Best wishes

 Steve

http://www.red-fm.co.uk     

 Who do you know who’s maybe at a crossroads in their career or life and needs a clearer image of who they are and what they do?

 If they contact me (07879 628708) they can book a free 45 minute telephone/Skype vision setting session and I guarantee they’ll leave the call with a real focus and a commitment to change things for the better.

 ’I was very inspired by our call.  All the elements we talked about brought into my focus what I really want to create in my life and for those I work with.’

Juliette Noske

‘Take on something with meaning & purpose’

Sometimes in life we take on challenges simply because they are there, maybe because we have something to prove, maybe because it seems the right thing to do but it is at those times, when we push ourselves beyond what we believe we are capable of that we find out who we really are and what we are really capable of achieving.

On Thursday I fly to Geneva with my road cycle packed to take on one of the most physically and I’m sure mentally testing challenges, I have ever undertaken. In 3 days, which doesn’t sound long at the moment, I will cycle almost 190 miles and take on 6 of the most testing mountain climbs from the Alps Tour de France stages, including the Col du Galibier and the famous Alp d’Huez. In the lead up to this event, I have cycled literally hundreds of miles and through the generosity of many, raised almost £1600 for Macmillan Cancer Support and the incredible work they do for those suffering from this awful disease.

I chose this challenge initially because it was there, I now realise that by leaving aside my own fears and concerns, I am about to give something back to others by pushing myself beyond my comfort zone and I now understand that what we all worry about on a day to day basis soon fades into insignificance when we take on something bigger than ourselves that has meaning and purpose.

If you’re lamenting your own life or career at this time or maybe daily issues are grinding you down a bit, maybe you can push these concerns to one side by finding your meaning and purpose in life by focusing on something bigger than yourself.  

Have a great week and really remember to be the best you that you can be 100% of the time

 

Best wishes

Steve

www.justgiving.com/redfm  Alps Challenge

Why are you online?

Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, Ecademy, LinkedIn, it seems that wherever you look these days up pops another social media networking site , asking you to create a profile and connect with more people you don’t know.

It’s hardly surprising therefore, then that when I conducted a poll on LinkedIn recently, I discovered that 81% of the LinkedIn users who responded said they had no clear strategy for using LinkedIn and that they visit the site and communicate on an adhoc basis as and when they get time. Imagine approaching a traditional marketing or sales plan in this way.

I believe that we have become so inundated with opportunities to promote our personal brand via such online sites that the best we can hope to achieve is to dip in and out as and when we find time to do so.

So my questions to you this week are:

• What promoted you to sign up to the particular online networking sites you did?
• What outcome were you hoping to achieve, once you had signed up?
• What strategy did you plan to implement to meet these outcomes?

In 2009 time is still our most precious commodity and we cannot afford to waste it. I would like to suggest that if you are participating in an online social or business networking site without a clear strategy then you are wasting your time.

So my tip for you this week is decide what precisely you want to get from any networking site, virtual or physical and decide what strategy will best achieve this outcome and then diarise a realistic amount of time each week to achieve your strategy.

Finally, make sure you measure the progress you are making with your strategy and revise your plan as often as is required until it begins to deliver the results you’re looking for.

For more information about how to promote your personal brand more effectively online using LinkedIn visit www.linked2success.co.uk

Have a great week and remember to be the best you that you can be 100% of the time

Best wishes

Steve

Be a Guardian to Yourself

The art of being successful and achieving fulfillment in life, I’m convinced, is about doing what is right for you and not what you feel you should be doing or in fact what you like doing. If this all sounds a little deep, let me explain.

Many of us spend our days, doing things we feel we should, such as putting all our energy into helping deal with other people’s problems or issues or getting involved in personal projects we like because they make us feel good, when in reality we are avoiding the very things we should be focusing on that will make us happy.

You know that there are things in life you should be doing that if you did them would make your life more tolerable, more enjoyable and more fulfilled, such as sorting your finances proactively, spending time looking after your physical and spiritual well being, creating the space in your diary to study and learn things that will be of value to you in the future and yet it is sometimes much easier to sort out someone else’s difficulties or fill your time doing something that is mildly enjoyable, such as having a drink and watching TV or some other trivial, though enjoyable pursuit.

Being a good guardian to yourself is about stepping back for a moment, making a list of the things that you need to do for yourself that will ultimately help you achieve more from life and enjoy the process too. The analogy I’d like to share is a bit like setting out on a journey in your car, picking up passengers along the way and forgetting to stop and put more fuel in your car, eventually your car will be overburdened, you’ll run out of gas and you’ll all end up going nowhere.
What do you need to do for you this week that you’ve been avoiding that will make a positive difference to your life?

Have a great week and remember to be the best you that you can be 100% of the time

Best wishes

Steve

Do you know someone who’s at a crossroads in their life or struggling to deal with current challenges? Do they need more clarity so they can see a way ahead?

Have them contact me now to arrange a free, 45 minute telephone coaching call in strictest confidence and they’ll be amazed how much clearer everything then seems.

‘I was very inspired by our call. All the elements we talked about brought into my focus what I really want to create in my life and for those I work with.’
Juliette Noske

The ‘So what’ factor

Most of us in business attend workshops/seminars, read books, watch DVDs, engage marketing firms or branding experts, with the common goal of trying to discover the secret to attracting more clients to do business with us or getting others to respond to our needs. However, I’d like to suggest that there is one simple key that will achieve this, the ‘So What? factor.

Now, I’m not suggesting that all of the above should be left out of the equation, absolutely not, otherwise as a personal branding coach I’d be out of a job, what I am saying is that whatever message you are communicating to your clients about how good you are and why they should do business with you, inside their head they are thinking ‘So what?’

So my suggestion is to ask you to look at every email signature, each piece of marketing literature you have, every voice mail sales message you leave, in fact any communication, where you want someone to get in touch with you and ask yourself a question….’If I was the person on the receiving end of this message, what would make me want to respond?’

Too often we communicate to others what we want from any given situation, rather than considering what would motivate the other person to respond. By the way, I believe that this approach will be just as effective in our personal lives as it will in business.

Have a great week and remember to be the best you that you can be 100% of the time

Steve
m: 07879 628708 e: steve@red-fm.co.uk

Do you know someone who’s at a crossroads in their life or struggling to deal with current challenges? Do they need more clarity so they can see a way ahead?

Have them contact me now to arrange a free, 45 minute telephone coaching call in strictest confidence and they’ll be amazed how much clearer everything then seems.

‘I was very inspired by our call. All the elements we talked about brought into my focus what I really want to create in my life and for those I work with.’
Juliette Noske

‘Steve Phillip is professional, knowledgeable and entertaining! Attending one of his workshops may be the best investment that you’ve ever made in yourself’
Deirdre Bounds

I found ‘Building a Superbrand: You’ thought provoking and highly relevant. I recommend this seminar to anyone who needs to ‘audit’ who they are and how successful they can be in their careers’
Will Kintish

How do you cope with self doubt?

During the past few weeks, I have met and coached a number of business owners and other individuals who are finding current times quite challenging and from time to time self doubt creeps in, which leads to fear of taking the next step. This prompted me to post a question on the online business networking site LinkedIn- ‘How do you cope with self doubt?’, which generated an incredible response from around the globe.

I thought I’d share with you 14 of my favourite tips that some of these individuals use to cope with their self doubt:

1. Every time that self doubt hits me I take a piece of paper and divide it in two. I then write all the pro’s on the left side and all the con’s on the right. That way when you see your situation unfold in front of you it is easier to make a decision and to realise if you are doubting yourself for a valid reason or not.

2. I take a day off to help me see why I do what I do. Sometimes it is easy to think you have to work harder and longer to get through bad patches. But over the years I have learnt that taking a break can help you focus better and work smarter.

3. What I have found to be most helpful is to have a process or system to fall back on. The most effective systems consist of a step-by-step “this is what you need to focus on NOW” approach.

4. Speak positively about your future, words carry an amazing power and can affect the atmosphere and people around you and your business. If you tell people there’s a recession on out there, they will believe you – the mind always wants to make short cuts, and this is an easy way out, and you will therefore start to make excuses as to why you can’t do a thing. Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure!!

5. I take lots of deep breaths to absorb the energy of something greater than myself. Then I ask what I am meant to learn from this crisis. It helps to put things in a long-term prospective.

6. There are only two sources to take advice from…Those who have done what you want to do and succeeded, or those who have paid the same price (in effort, focused determination, discipline, financial or business) that you are willing to pay” Now more than ever, people need to have confidence in their abilities to hold fast to their business and personal visions & goals. There are lessons that have been learned, and advice available, but consider the sources!

7. It is easy to say, but for me when self-doubt creeps in, I have to focus on a small task and kind of ignore the bigger picture. It is tough, because many times the self-doubt is about the bigger picture, but concentrating on smaller digestible (and conquerable) bites is the only thing that works for me.

8. This is a time to challenge yourself to do more, be more and seek out new and exciting ways to do something after doing it the same way for as long as you can remember. Don’t allow dark thoughts to have control of your mind! Seek the positive and have faith in your abilities!

9. I review where I have come from and where I am at now. Sort of like looking at a road map to see how much further you have to travel. Most of us are surprised on how far we have travelled

10. I overcome my self-doubt by accepting who I am and by discovering what I am here for. I am not too concerned with whether I am going to fail in a particular project because it’s only a small step in the journey of my life, which is about doing what is good and learning from my experience.

11. I’ve learned that battling with self-doubt is like fighting with a fire breathing dragon: seemingly hopeless and terrifying. Since self doubt (and the dragon!) are products of “mind” – I’ve found that giving my “mind” a useful challenge – e.g., go out and get an article pitched; write a pr announcement; find a few networking meetings; purge your files – you get the idea – and you’ll feel like you’re on track again making things happen.

12. This may sound a bit silly, but I take a look around me and consider other people who are in a worse life situation, either with their health, relationships, work situation, finances etc. I think try to think objectively about my own situation and find all the positives about it…this help me to put things into perspective

13. I look for support from those who know me–those who will know and have experienced my competencies, those who will re-energise me, those who will re-assure me, those who will help me change my thoughts. Sometimes I need others, sometimes I want others–I don’t want to do it all on my own either!! Ask, and thank them.

14. I have a mantra – pick yourself up brush yourself down and start all over again. It reminds me I have survived in the past and will do again and so helps take me through the dark times

Life can be a real challenge sometimes, so I hope the words above help keep you focus and remind you that you’re not alone out there.

Have a great week and remember to be the best you that you can be 100% of the time

Steve